woe is me

How is it possible that I forgot my first pregnancy so fast? Ty was 8 months when we were blessed again to be prego, and I had forgotten EVERYTHING! Of course the first horrible 3 months of doing absolutely nothing, good thing Ty won't remember mom's neglect or maybe he just thought I was the best mom, because he could climb all over me for hours as I layed on the floor. Then the middle months of not knowing whether to buy bigger clothes or tell people there's a reason for the chub around the middle - of course it's just been sittin' there since Ty was born... I'm not really a motivated person :( there is a moment of bliss when the bump really starts to pronounce itself, I can still squeeze on my jeans and paired with a lovely maternity blouse I feel quite proud to be the mother of a darling tot with one on the way, hoping people think oh what a cute little mommy! Ha! On to the last months...have I always been so angry and sad, I can't remember not being so. Every night Josh has with the guys or every pea Ty throws on the floor I want to punch a wall and scream. Then I see Ty sleeping so peacefully or getting on his tummy to inspect some ants on the orange remains, Josh always giving me complete attention when he comes home and listening to me say 'you don't love me' for days. It makes my heart swell. I absolutely love these boys and boo-hoo I hope they know it! Oh I can't forget the heartburn, with Ty I could control it with tums until the last month when I took pepcid. This time since day one I've had it and nothing helps me! That's another thing that makes me quite angry. Last night I kept getting 'frogs' which are air bubbles that want to be burps but since I can't burp they just gurgle out of my throat. I know, I'm sexy! I finally fell asleep and Josh said my frogs kept coming until I let out a huge burp! Hallelujah, I can burp in my sleep! He thought that was hilarious and I laugh out of total humiliation...am I really the lady you married!? Yikes poor hubby, I apologize, but only 2 more months of dirty dishes, angry outbursts and gross bodily sounds! And then we can worry about sleep deprivation, stretch marks and the chubby midsection and a jealous Ty (hopefully not)!